When we are stressed or overwhelmed, it can be difficult to extend grace to our loved ones. However, this is exactly what the Bible instructs us to do in challenging moments. Creating connections with our children requires attempts at understanding, forgiveness, and then the offering of grace.
Knowing what to do when you’re stressed or overwhelmed is often easier said than done. So, if you struggle with giving grace when you have competing work, family and personal responsibilities, you’re not alone.
Read on for three easy tips to help you give grace in moments of stress and conflict.
1. In times of stress, ask God for help.
During His time walking the earth, Jesus promised us we would encounter trouble. It’s part of being human in a fallen world. However, Jesus also promised to give us a Helper who could guide us through this life and give us unending access to the Father and His wisdom.
Sometimes, though, we forget to ask for His help.
Stress and dysregulation are often signs that there is something deeper going on inside of us. When we overreact, shut down, or feel overwhelmed, it may be that past wounds or unhealed areas of our hearts are being triggered. These aren’t just emotional reactions—they’re invitations to healing.
Ask God to lovingly reveal the roots of these responses. Invite Him to show you what lies beneath the surface:
- Is this frustration connected to a past hurt?
- Is fear or shame influencing your reaction?
The Holy Spirit is gentle, and He will guide you—not to condemn you, but to heal you.
We cannot pour from empty vessels, and being filled with God’s mercy and grace is the only way to extend this same radical love to others. Ask Him to remind you of the grace He showed you when He died for you., You can ask Him to fill you with compassion and grace for the person who offended you.
2. Set Aside Time to Rest With God.
We live in an incredibly fast-paced world, and the pressures of work and home life can feel never-ending. The minute you cross one item off your to-do list, another two or three get added.
When we’re stretched this thin, it’s difficult to offer grace to our loved ones — or to ourselves.
If you’re wondering what to do when you’re stressed and find yourself with a short fuse, remember your Sabbath. When was the last time you really took a break from work and set aside time to rest with God?
Throughout the Bible, we read how important it is to keep the Sabbath. Regular Sabbath rest increases our capacity for patience, empathy, and emotional presence with the people in our care.
When we pause to rest and intentionally step out of the pressure to perform or produce, we regulate our nervous systems and expand our window of tolerance—our ability to manage stress without becoming overwhelmed or shut down.
So instead of pushing through, consider setting aside time to slow down: read Scripture, take a walk, journal your prayers, or simply sit quietly in God’s presence. Rest isn’t wasted time—it’s preparation to love others well.
3. Put yourself in the other person’s shoes.
Grace and compassion go together like sunlight and warmth—each strengthens the other, creating something greater than themselves.
If you’re wondering how to extend grace to your loved ones and any others who come along your way, one of the most powerful things you can do is to practice compassion—putting yourself in their shoes.
Choose to understand their perspective, especially when it’s different from your own. When we approach others with this kind of understanding, it becomes easier to respond with patience, kindness, and grace.
For example, if your child is talking back to you more than normal, seek to understand this change in behavior. Ask him questions to understand his perspective. Maybe he doesn’t understand why you have the rules you do. Perhaps he doesn’t feel like you listen to him when you make important decisions about your lives.
Once we understand someone else’s perspective, it’s much easier to offer grace. Create space for open and respectful conversation with the child you’re having conflict with and focus on understanding his or her point of view. Only then does it become easier to extend grace.
KEY TAKEAWAY
Grace is a gift from God. We did not earn it, but sometimes, it’s hard to give grace to other people. Ask God to help you extend grace to your loved ones in times of stress and conflict so you can reflect His love in your household.
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. ~ Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)
APPLICATION
Children can struggle with extending grace, too. The next time your child is having trouble with understanding their sibling’s or parent’s perspective, play Oh, Shoe!. This game gives your kids the opportunity to step into other’s shoes — literally and figuratively — and learn an important lesson about compassion.
Find this game and more now in the Everyday Moments™ activities collection!
