Can you relate to the feeling of being completely exhausted after work, only to find your children arguing over who controls the TV remote? Your immediate response might be to intervene and quickly resolve the dispute. Desperate for a moment of peace, you might even end up shouting. However, it's crucial to remember that we are far more receptive to what is said to us when it is delivered with empathy and understanding.
It's absolutely essential to connect with children before correcting them. Our children, especially those who have been through difficult times, thrive when we focus on providing support and building trust. They are more likely to respond well to correction when a strong foundation of trust is established and when they perceive that what you're asking of them is for their own good.
3 ways to help you connect before you correct
Maintain eye contact
Establishing eye contact is crucial, as it reassures the child and makes them feel acknowledged. By meeting their eyes at eye level, you can create a stronger connection with your child. Interacting at the same level fosters a bond, communicating your affection and attention. If your child is comfortable with physical contact, placing your hand on their chin can also create a sense of comfort during a difficult conversation.
Be aware of your tone
Tone of voice can greatly affect how a message is perceived. Shouting during a conversation can diminish the effectiveness of your message. If the goal is to de-escalate the situation, the best results are achieved when the tone conveys a friendly intention and is kept at a normal volume.
Understand your child's point of view
Compassion is about putting yourself in your child's shoes and fostering trust, which builds a connection. By avoiding assumptions, you can engage in discussions with your child fairly and impartially.
For example, if your child is visibly upset when asked to share, a good place to start is by asking questions like: Why don't you want to share? Is this toy special to you? When your child remains irritable, it's important to check if their basic physical needs are being met. Perhaps they're hungry, haven't slept in a long time, or simply need to take some deep breaths. Often, there's a reason behind emotional outbursts, and getting to the root cause will alleviate some of the conflict.
Key point
At the heart of raising children lies the unwavering importance of trust. Trust strengthens relationships, influences conversations, and fosters a sense of belonging. The only way to build trust is by creating a strong connection. This leads to successful correction and discipline.
And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Application
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