Every child is born into a family by divine design, and God makes no mistakes in this placement. The family unit was created by Him, and its restoration is a priority in His plan for humanity. Embracing this divine perspective inspires you to approach the biological family of the child in your care, particularly those in hardship, with compassion and empathy in tandem with advocating for the protection of the child you both love.
As a foster parent, you play a critical role in facilitating visitations and maintaining connections between the child and their birth family. Here are a few tips on how best to manage relationships with the birth family of the child in your care.
Be Compassionate and Understanding
Many families face cycles of trauma, abuse, or experiences of growing up in foster care. These cycles often perpetuate from one generation to the next, creating a challenging environment for children. While these circumstances do not excuse any harm endured by children, recognizing the struggles of parents can soften our hearts. Every child deserves the opportunity to be known, loved, and cared for by their family, and every parent deserves the chance to heal and grow.
Maintain Family Connections
When a child enters foster care, maintaining a connection to their birth family is crucial. This often occurs through court-ordered visits with parents, siblings, or other relatives. As a foster parent, you play a vital role in facilitating these connections, which can vary depending on the case. It’s important to speak positively about the child’s birth family and advocate for the removal of any barriers to visitation when it’s in the child’s best interest.
Navigate the Challenges of Family Visits
Visits can be emotionally challenging for everyone involved. Birth families often have limited time with their children, usually in a supervised setting. You can empower birth parents by engaging them in conversations about their child’s preferences and needs, honoring their role as parents. If direct contact is not possible, sending photos or updates can help maintain a connection.
Children may experience dysregulation during and after visits, as they relive past traumas and face separation again. It is essential to validate their feelings and provide them with space to express their emotions. Planning a comforting activity after the visit can help the child feel supported and understood.
Your Role After the Visit
Foster parents are often left to pick up the pieces after visits. They accommodate schedules, transport the child, and manage disruptions to routines. Despite the challenges, they speak positively about the birth family, manage emotional meltdowns, and console the child when visits do not go as planned. You do this because you understand the importance of family and the hope for restoration.
Hope in God for Restoration
While a child’s journey to foster care may be marked by brokenness, there is still a chance for restoration, offering hope. God can transform ashes into beauty, mourning into joy, and heaviness into praise (Isaiah 61:3). Families are worth fighting for, and every effort made to support and restore them aligns with God’s divine purpose.
In the grand tapestry of creation, God intricately weaves families as the fundamental building blocks of society. By valuing family as God does, we contribute to a future where every child can thrive within a loving and supportive family environment.
Key Takeaway
The family unit is central to His vision, and its restoration is a priority in His plan for humanity. Embracing this divine perspective inspires you to approach the biological family of the child in your care, particularly those in hardship, with compassion and empathy.
Since God chose you to be holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
~Colossians 3:12 (NLT)
