When was the last time you went to a celebration?
It could be a graduation ceremony, a birthday party, or even a wedding.
Like most parties, it probably included good food, dancing or other activities and plenty of opportunities to celebrate the person achieving such an important milestone.
But what you probably didn’t spend much time dwelling on were all the trials and tears the person you’re celebrating went through to get where they are now.
In this life, resilience—the ability to overcome certain obstacles—and trauma go hand and hand. Often, resilience is the product of trauma when we allow God to work all things for good in our lives.
It’s true for us, and it’s true for our children, too.
In the book Overcoming, written by renowned psychologists Nicole Gilbertson Wilke, Ph.D. and Amanda Hiles Howard, Ph.D., and published by CAFO, our strategic partner, the authors state, “Small things make a big difference.”
In Part 10 of our Resilience Series, you’ll discover simple, practical ways to cultivate this ability to “bounce back” from adversity in your kids is celebrating small victories in their lives.
How to Celebrate Small Victories with Children
Little things add up. We often think about this statement in terms of progress and consistency over time, and we can apply this same principle to our kids’ journey through childhood trauma and resilience, too.
When it comes to your children, don’t despise their “humble beginnings” on their road to growth and healing. Instead, celebrate the wins when and where you can, recognizing that even small steps in the right direction means your child is making progress towards building resilience.
Here are some examples of small wins you can celebrate with your child:
- Getting through a car ride without a major tantrum
- Listening to an instruction the first (or even second) time
- Getting through a school day without incident
- Allowing you to speak without interrupting
- Using words to express feelings, rather than acting out
- Following through on a routine or task without reminders
- Agreeing to try something new
- Using positive rather than negative self-talk
- Following rules without escalation
While these wins may seem small, they can often represent an internal shift for children who have experienced trauma. Noticing and celebrating these victories can reinforce resilience and build a foundation for long-term healing.
Celebration Tips
Remember, the “celebration” doesn’t have to be huge. Verbal affirmations like “great job” go a long way in rebuilding esteem—and make sure you give them as soon as possible after the behavior you want to reinforce.
That way you can help the child make the connection between the behavior they demonstrated and their reward (the celebration).
Also, mom and dad, don’t forget to celebrate yourself in this process.
Often, we are our own worst critic, using perfection as our litmus to celebrate ourselves. Maybe you kept it together during a major tantrum your child was having, or you managed to get the laundry washed and folded and still found some time to exercise. Give yourself a “great job” and recognize the ways you are changing and growing, too!
KEY TAKEAWAY
Building resilience in your child takes time and patience; remember to celebrate the small victories along the way.
APPLICATION QUESTIONS
- How can I recognize the small ways my child is growing and improving?
- How can I use multiple methods to reward myself and my child for our small wins?
ACTIVITY
The completion of a boring or mundane task can represent major wins for children. When accomplished together, you and your child can celebrate your accomplishments together. Try an activity like Sock Toss Showdown. Find this game and more in the Everyday Moments™ collection!
KEY VERSE
“And though you started with little, you will end with much.”
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, give me a spirit of celebration to recognize all you are doing in the lives of my children and myself. In Jesus’ name, amen.