Before you know it, summer fades and it’s time to prepare for the mixture of excitement, exhaustion and emotion that comes with the back-to-school season.
If we’re honest, this time can be a blessing and a challenge for most parents — a blessing to return to normalcy and structure and a challenge when it comes to managing back to school anxiety.
You may even have a middle-schooler or teenager who’s fearful and overwhelmed during this season, and they don’t even want to go to school due to anxiety.
This can be challenging, but you don’t have to navigate this season alone. Read on for a back-to-school preparation checklist and back-to-school tips for parents of foster children to help you start the school year with peace and confidence.
Back to School & Your Child In Foster Care
Children in foster care often carry invisible burdens such as the grief of missing former schools and neighborhoods and friends, fear of once again being the new kid at a new school, uncertainty of being able to fit in and make friends and trauma from being removed from their familiar surroundings; or, for children able to remain in their school of origin, there can be joy and confusion at now seeing siblings only at school, and potential stress of going home with a different family.
Back to school transitions can intensify these feelings.
However, it’s important to note that not every child will demonstrate their emotions in the same way.
Back to School Anxiety
Back to school anxiety can show up as physical, mental or emotional symptoms. It commonly appears as:
- Stomachaches.
- Tears or meltdowns.
- Refusing to get out of the car.
- Trouble sleeping.
- Irritability or withdrawal.
- Saying, “I don’t want to go.”
What looks like defiance can actually be fear and vulnerability. During this season, do your best to listen to your child and identify the need behind the behavior.
Back to School Tips for Parents in the Foster Network
Back‑to‑school season can be especially challenging for foster parents. You may feel pressure to “keep up” and match the routines of other families, and, depending on when you got your child, you may also struggle with the routines and schedules that are not familiar to you.
For example, your child may need more time for reassurance and flexibility as they get ready in the morning — and each of these requires more of your time, energy and presence.
To help you be better equipped for the first few weeks of school, here are some back-to-school tips for parents and caregivers of kids of any age.
Emotional Preparation
- Validate your child’s feelings by saying things like, “Going back to school can feel overwhelming. I’m here with you.”
- Create connection through morning rituals like a hug, blessing, handshake or morning prayer routine.
- Practice grounding exercises such as breathing, counting, stretching to help your child root themself in clarity and calmness.
- For middle-schoolers and teens, offer choices like, “Do you want to listen to music or ride in silence?”
Physical Preparation
- Build familiarity. Visit the school with your child before the first day, practice your morning route and review your child’s class schedule with them before the semester begins.
- Communication with your child’s teachers. Meet them in person or virtually and create a communication plan with teachers and counselors.
- Familiarize yourself with school resources. Get to know who offers support at your child’s school, add school events to your calendar and review IEP/504 plans, if applicable.
After-School Preparation
- Consider picking up your child with water, a snack and a comforting item (ex. blanket) waiting in the car for them.
- Have a decompression or transition time and routine when they get home, like play time, alone time or family connection time.
- Create homework and bedtime routines so your child knows what to expect each day when they come home.
- Establish a comfy space in your house where teens and older children can go to decompress and have some alone time, if they wish to use it.
KEY TAKEAWAY
Returning to school for your child can be exciting, yet stressful. However, with a little planning and preparation, you can ensure your child has a smooth start to the school year.
ACTIVITY
You can connect with your child on the ride to or from school by playing a game such as Name the Most.
Find this game and more in the Everyday MomentsTM activity collection.
APPLICATION QUESTIONS
- Why does going back to school cause so much anxiety for my child?
- How can I prepare for and manage my child’s back to school anxiety?
KEY VERSE
“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” ~ Joshua 1:9 (NLT)
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, as we step into this new school year, cover our children with Your peace
and calm their anxious hearts. Give them teachers who see and support them, and strengthen us as parents to lead with patience, wisdom, and compassion. In Jesus’ name, amen.
