They say it takes a village to raise a child, but what happens when that village doesn’t seem to be talking to each other?
It can feel frustrating and exhausting parenting a child impacted by trauma while trying to coordinate care between therapists, teachers, and doctors who don’t always seem to be on the same page about how to best support your child.
There are certain limits to how much your child’s therapist, teacher, and doctor can share with one another, but as the parent, you have the power to coordinate communication among these professionals in a way that best serves your child. After all, God entrusted your child to you — and he’s given you the grace to navigate these conversations.
This is article #6 in an 8-part series entitled Compassionate Parenting. If you missed the first article, go back and read it here.
How to Talk to Your Child’s Teacher About Concerns
Your child’s teacher is an important part of your child’s care team. Make every attempt to attend Open Houses to connect with school-based professionals and take advantage of the opportunities when teachers are naturally available. Get to know your child’s teachers by name. Bless them with a small gift or a note of thanks during the school year to let them know how much you appreciate their efforts with your child.
Some important questions to ask teachers during these moments are:
- “What are you noticing at school that I might not be seeing at home?”
- “How can we work together to support the same goals for my child?”
- “Have you identified any accommodations or supports that might be needed to help my child learn?”
- “What’s the best way for us to stay in touch about progress or concerns?”
How to Talk to Your Child’s Therapist About Concerns
Talking to therapists requires open communication and trust. As with teachers, therapists are bound by confidentiality laws covered under a government act called HIPAA and may be limited to who they can talk to about your child. Be sure to ask your child’s therapist about any informed consent paperwork that needs to be signed by you to give permission to discuss your child with other professionals like teachers and doctors.
Some important questions to ask your child’s therapist are:
- “What goals are you working on right now?”
- “What can I do at home to support what you’re working on in therapy?”
- “Are there accommodations or supports that might help my child function better?”
- “What’s the best way for us to stay in touch about progress or concerns?”
How to Talk to Your Child’s Doctor About Concerns
The doctor only sees your child for a few minutes occasionally. However, they are still an important member of your child’s care team, and you should take advantage of any opportunity you have to discuss your child’s health and wellbeing with them.
Prepare notes and questions in advance of your appointment. Try to visit when the office is less busy and find professionals who are willing to sit, listen, and answer questions. Review the doctor’s online reviews to see if other patients have had positive experiences. That way, you’re more likely to find a pediatrician who is willing to invest extra time in supporting your child.
Some important questions to ask your child’s doctor are:
- “Is there anything happening with my child that is a concern?”
- “What supports, if any, are you recommending to help my child?”
- “When/how should we follow up with you?”
You cannot force professionals to communicate, but you can create opportunities for alignment through sharing information with all the professionals in your child’s life. Remember that every professional in your child’s life only has a slice of their story. You are the bridge that connects them all and here are five ways you can do so:
- Ask each professional about communication preferences
- Set up regular meetings with each professional to get updates
- Keep the other professionals in the loop by sharing relevant information about your child
- Recognize the limits of confidentiality each professional is bound to about sharing information
- Respect the professional’s time; like you, they are busy and may not respond immediately. Show patience, grace and the love of God.
It takes a village to raise a child. Your responsibility is to contact, coordinate, and connect key professionals in your child’s village to ensure the work is unified, with you, the parent serving as the village council God appointed to discern what the child needs most.
KEY TAKEAWAY
Your child may have multiple professionals as part of their care team. Proactively coordinating and communicating with the professionals in your child’s life can help ensure quality of care.
ACTIVITY
Show your child that everyone has responsibilities that matter to God, including them, by playing Pile of Purpose. Find this game and more in the Everyday Moments™ activity collection.
APPLICATION QUESTIONS
- What are important questions to ask professionals in my child’s life?
- How can I coordinate communication between professionals in my child’s life?
KEY VERSE
“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.” ~ Ecclesiastes 4:9 (NLT)
PRAYER
Heavenly Father, give me wisdom while communicating with my child’s care team and peace when I feel overwhelmed. Help me advocate with grace and remind me that You are the true keeper of my child’s story. In Jesus’ mighty name, amen.
