For many of us as single moms, we never envisioned our lives would look this way.
If we dreamed about having children growing up, those fantasies almost always involved a two-parent household with a loving husband standing beside us as a partner and provider.
But life doesn’t always unfold the way we expect. Whether due to divorce, widowhood, or some other unforeseen circumstances, we find ourselves as single parents. And at some point along that journey, the question of dating may arise.
Choosing whether you want to date as a single mom is a very personal decision. One that does not have a right or wrong answer or timeline. Here are some tips to help you discern if it might be the right time to begin dating.
This article is #8 of a 10-part series designed to give single moms actionable tips to help you navigate single parenthood with more patience, gentleness and grace. If you missed the first article, you can read it here.
Am I ready to start dating again?
In chapter 8 of the book, The 10 Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make, the authors Pam Farrel and PeggySue Wells outline different ways single parents can tell if they’re ready to start dating. Here are some of their actionable tips:
- The DivorceCare support group recommends remaining single one year for every four years you were in a relationship. This helps you focus on your relationship with yourself, God and your children.
- Delay remarriage if you think the upheaval would be difficult for your children. Remember parenting only lasts a season and once your children are grown, you will have plenty of time to focus on your romantic endeavors.
- Remember being single still makes you a complete person. Too often, our society prioritizes married couples over single people. God made people as individuals, and one is very much a whole number.
How to Identify the Right Partner
If you’ve decided you’re ready to start dating, here are some tips Farrel and Wells provide to help you determine if your prospective partner is a good one:
- You can be your authentic self around them.
- You encourage one another’s hopes and dreams.
- Your trusted friends can easily observe his good qualities.
- He interacts well with your friends and family, as well as his own.
- The trust you have for him grows over time instead of diminishes.
- Being together helps you both grow in your relationship with God.
By prayerfully considering if now is the time to begin dating, you can make a decision that ultimately honors God and is best for your family.
KEY TAKEAWAY
Choosing to date as a single mom is a personal decision that can have a lasting impact on you and your family.
ACTIVITY
Each day is filled with highs and lows. Encourage your child to reflect on the events in their day by playing Mountains and Valleys at your next meal together. Find this game and more now in the Everyday Moments™ activities collection!
APPLICATION QUESTIONS
- Prayerfully ask God if he wants you to begin dating in this season. What does He reveal to you?
- If you have a prospective partner in your life, weigh their qualities against the ones listed above. How do they measure up?
KEY VERSE
“You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the pleasures of living with you forever.” ~Psalm 16:11 (NLT)
PRAYER
Dear God, please give me wisdom as I decide whether I want to date in this season of life. Please guide my steps. I place all of my trust in You. And I find pleasure in You. In Jesus’ name, amen.
