You have heard it said that “only the strong survive.”
This saying is attributed in part from Charles Darwin, who created a theory of evolution that said, “survival of the fittest.” Darwin stated that through natural selection, some of us were given traits to help us survive in our environments.
While our children have developed certain traits to survive in difficult circumstances, we do not want children to just survive. We want them to fully live out the life Jesus paid dearly for!
In the book Overcoming, written by renowned psychologists Nicole Gilbertson Wilke, Ph.D. and Amanda Hiles Howard, Ph.D., and published by CAFO, our strategic partner, the authors state, “Children thrive when contributing to their families and communities through purposeful work, volunteering and responsibilities.”
In Part 9 of our Resilience Series, we share how as a parent or caregiver you can guide their children through trauma and challenges, transforming their experience from surviving to thriving.
Empowering Your Child to Overcome Obstacles
Sometimes, we try to protect children too much from the trials and tribulations of the world. “Afterall,” we reason with ourselves, “haven’t they been through enough?”
While it’s tempting to want to shelter and shield our kids from hardships, especially if we’re raising children who experienced trauma, take a moment and reflect on your own life. Many of the hardships you endured shaped you into the person you are today.
Children do their best when they are able to serve their communities in productive and developmentally appropriate ways.
Things like volunteering, feeding a pet, setting the table, tutoring a sibling, helping with dinner, doing chores in the home, etc., can instill a sense of competence and confidence in your child, helping to build resilience.
Make time to build connection, teach practical skills, and instill gospel-rooted hope so your child can confidently overcome life’s obstacles.
3 Strategies to Support Your Children
With intentionality, you can help your child move beyond basic survival by helping them see beyond their present situation, to God’s greater plan for their lives. Here are 3 ways to support your child’s future and help your child thrive
1. Increase Their Vision
Drs. Wilke and Howard state, “Purpose begins with vision.” Help your child gain a vision for their lives by identifying their interests, skills, gifts, and talents, and discovering ways to use them for greater good.
Martin Luther King Jr. is quoted as saying, “Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself.”
Ask your child, “What problem would you like to solve in the world?” and help them align themselves with a purpose greater than themselves.
2. Provide Opportunities to Serve
Our communities are filled with needs. Help your child open their eyes to the needs around them—doing so will take a bit of their attention away from their own plight and teach them gratitude.
Whether it’s serving in a soup kitchen with you, or giving away their old toys to needy children, or helping an elderly neighbor clean up their yard, teach your child to embrace the concept of paying it forward, a movement where acts of kindness are done for others, with the expectation that they will “pay it forward” by doing a kind deed for someone else, creating a chain reaction.
3. Give Them Responsibilities
Children today are no longer given real responsibilities. The concept of chores seems outdated and even mean to some parents.
However, children need to connect rewards to work. Remember that “feel good” you get after accomplishing a task? Help your child gain a sense of accomplishment that comes from completing a job well done by setting expectations for them to help around the house.
Chores help children gain a sense of industriousness by mastering new skills and achieving competence through hard work and effort. Success leads to a feeling of competence and pride.
KEY TAKEAWAY
Children thrive when they are able to see beyond their current situations and identify ways to use their skills, gifts, and talents to serve others.
APPLICATION QUESTIONS
- How can I help my child identify their skills, gifts, and talents?
- How can I help my child learn the importance of serving others?
ACTIVITY
Sometimes children are afraid to start something new because they have a fear of making mistakes. Help your child overcome the stress and anxiety that come from performing new tasks by playing the bedtime game, Tear-iffic! Find this game and more in the Everyday Moments™ collection!
KEY VERSE
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the LORD. ‘They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’”
PRAYER
Lord, help me to help my child use their God-given gifts to become a productive member of their society. May you be glorified in all that they do.
